Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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