I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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