i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
