ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
