trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
