Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
