you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
