Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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