i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
