I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
