Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
