Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
