okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
