Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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