he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
