you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He better not be in your backpack
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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