ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
