I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
