Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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