I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
