Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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