Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
