he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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