My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
