Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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