I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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