seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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