the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we're making bets on your personal life
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
