he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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