I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
