Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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