Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
