Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
