why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
