Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
