Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
