im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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