Apparently you make a good broom.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
