too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
