and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
