oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
