After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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