there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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