I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
