I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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