you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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