Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
