Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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