..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
