'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
