Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
