i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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